Pushing Forward

It's funny how you can be doing or watching something and all of a sudden you realize that there's a hidden meaning in what you're witnessing.  It happened to me this weekend.  The message isn't what got me but rather the bearer of that message.  Jimmy's Pee Wee hockey team.

On Saturday they played against what could be considered a rival team.  Coming into the game they were 1-2 against this team including a pretty bad loss in a tourney championship game.  Jimmy was pretty jacked going in to play them and thus far I've enjoyed watching their games because two out of the three had been very competitive.  And the first two periods on Saturday were no different.  It was back and forth, good plays being made my both teams and as they entered into the third period the score was tied 4-4.  It was shaping up to be another memorable game with a great ending.

Beginning the third period Jimmy's team put another shot in the net and took the lead 5-4.  It was after that the wheels came off.  Only a minute of two later their competitors scored to tie it up.  And then a minute later they scored again to go up 6-5.  And then they scored again, and a again, and again, and again, closing out the game with 6 unanswered goals to take a 10-5 win.  Momentum had swung and they fell into quick sand.  No matter what they did it didn't work and as each goal went in you could see the kids body language change from competition to the realization they were going to lose the game.

On Sunday they had another game a fair distance away.  On the ride Jimmy and I talked some about the game and I gave him my standard advice when asked what I wanted to see from him that day:  Play hard, do your best, and listen to you coach.  No "score a goal or get an assist" or "work on your shot or skating".  Those are things for practice and will come with practice.  Games are for showing what you've learned and applying them to the best of your ability and I impress that on him before every game.  What I didn't know at that time is they would do that and more.  They would present a life lesson if one were inclined to look for it.

Once the game began it was like they'd completely forgot about the day before and what had happened.  They were all flying around the ice and making plays.  Getting shots on goal an controlling the speed and flow of the game.  At the end of the first period they were up 1-0.  As the game wore on and they played the second period their confidence seemed to build and they put in a couple more goals.  By the end of the game it didn't matter who was on the ice, they were skating hard and playing as well as they had all season and they finished the game with a 6-1 victory. It was an amazing transformation to watch from one day to another.  

So where was the message in all this?  On one day they couldn't seem to get anything to go right.  No matter what they did it seemed to backfire on them.  However, rather than simply giving up they continued to play the game and take their bumps and bruises.  The kept working hard to try and change the outcome even though they could see it simply wasn't their day.  But that work proved fruitful the next day.  They put the previous day and game behind them and began fresh.  They were able to apply the lessons from the previous day and translate those lessons into a good, solid win.  This is something we can all learn from.  We all have bad days, days that it seems nothing will go right.  Sometimes those days turn into a string of days or even weeks or months.  What's important in those times is to continue to work and improve and take the lessons learned and apply them.  I know when I have frustrating times I can forget this lesson and it took a group of great kids playing a hockey game to remind me.  

In life, like it a sports game, bad things are going to happen and sometimes it's going to feel like everything is against you.  It's up to you to continue to push forward, learn, and make the changes necessary to accomplish your specific goals.  It's also necessary in life, like in a team sport to rely on those around you instead of trying to do it all yourself.  Ask questions and listen to your coach and mentors, lean on your teammates or friends and family to help you get through when you're not performing your best, set a specific goal and work towards it.  And above it all, never give up or give in.  Keep fighting and pushing through each and every day with a goal of being a little better today than you were the day before.  Yes, I was reminded of an important lesson.  And it was a lesson taught by a bunch of kids doing something they love.  Let us all remember those lessons when we're doing the simplest thing of all.  Living.    

Starting from Scratch

No lie, the end of last week sucked.  But before I begin, I'll step back a bit and give you the history to help you better understand how I got there to begin with.  Back a couple of years ago I pulled/injured my hip flexor pretty seriously.  Honestly, knowing what I know now it was a long time coming.  I had lifted weights, very heavy weights, for years with improper form and it threw off the balance of muscles in my body.  Basically the front half of my body is extremely over developed compared to the back.  So it could be taken as no great surprise that once I corrected my form I was hit with an injury.  At the time it occurred I was squating and felt it happen at the bottom of the movement.  Since there was no one else in the gym at the time I couldn't stop and had to push the weight back to the top of the movement which no doubt didn't help.  I missed 5 days of work and walked favoring one side for quite awhile.

Fast forward to last winter when I re-injured it, not to the same extent but enough to put me on the couch for a few days.  A couple months of letting it heal and then I was doing the Rush Fit home workout program.  I felt great after completing the 80 days in the spring!  Much of my pain was gone and I wasn't having the same amount of days of soreness.  Unfortunately I fell of track and for the past few months had only been doing it periodically.  After Christmas I decided to get back into it, along with adding some additional stretching in an effort to begin rebuilding my body.  And that brings us to Friday.

Friday was day 3 of week 3 of Rush Fit.  Jimmy had a hockey game that night so that afternoon before he arrived home from school I planned to knockout my workout, shower, do a couple quick chores, and then we'd be on our way.  However, as I was nearing completion of the dvd, I went down into an air squat and felt the familiar pain of the muscle in my hip pull.  Immediately the frustration set in of knowing that I was done with my workouts for an undetermined amount of time.

Unfortunately, my night was not over.  Jimmy still had a hockey game that evening which meant 3 hours of driving (round trip time) and roughly an hour and a half of standing.  If you've ever had that injury, the only thing you want to do is lay down with ice on your lower back/hip/butt area and I knew before we set out it was going to be a very uncomfortable evening.  I wasn't wrong.  By the time we got home (from a great game no less and a big win) I hurt.  All I wanted was to lay on the couch with some ice.  Thankfully, the next day Jimmy's coach agreed to take Jimmy with him for the two games (it was a tournament weekend).  However, it still required me to spend roughly an hour on the road to get him to the pick up spot and even that short amount of time was extremely uncomfortable.  I am thankful for Coach taking him on Saturday though.  It allowed me the rest of the day to lay on the couch and rest, which is key for the healing process.

The next couple days were spent rocking R.I.C.E.  (Rest. Ice. Compression. Elevation.)  I've also been in contact with Maralyn's sister who's a massage therapist as well as a local yoga instructor.  After discussions with the wife, I'm taking a whole new approach.  Yes, you read that correctly, my big, hairy, redneck looking body is going to begin yoga.  For everyone's sake I'm forgoing the pants associated with the practice however.  I feel as though I'm going to be starting my health from scratch.  It's ok I guess.  I feel like I don't have much of an option at this point.  What I've been doing isn't working and I'll be damned if I'm willing to give up my health because I'm being stubborn (as my wife will tell you I do that enough by refusing to go to the Dr. for various ailments).

In all honesty, I miss lifting.  I enjoy it, it's a great physical release, and I have friends who are into it as well.  Not to mention one of the reason's I'm so anxious to move is so I can get back to the trainer and gym I was a member of before my initial injury.  However, after this past weekend it's become clear that before I can begin doing it again, reforming and reshaping my body is a necessity.  Not only a necessity for myself, but for my family as well.  Me being down puts everyone in the house out.  Marylyn has to step in and do more which can put her at risk for seizures and falls, Jimmy has to sacrifice time with both of us, and it puts me in the awkward position of needing to postpone healing into order to keep up daily tasks.  It's a no win situation for anyone.

Moving forward, I'm hoping my hip injury days are over with.  I expect I'm going to be uncomfortable once I begin my new workout program but that's ok.  I've done a little yoga and understand how different it is from traditional lifting.  What I have yet to experience is the difference it can make and that's pretty exciting.  It's going to be a long road I suspect to get back to where I want and need to be but thankfully I feel as though I have a map that will help me get to my final destination while avoiding the pitfalls.    

Day's In The Life

I don't know if it's a question so much but it seems as though people are curious about what I do on a daily basis.  While it's true, especially in the winter, that I'm not always running around crazy busy, I tend to approach many of my days like a job with a list of tasks to complete.  The truth is though, my days are always different and can change on a moments notice, literally.

I do standard things that most husbands do.  I get up and and make sure Jimmy is awake before making coffee for myself so I can function enough to either help him get ready for school or ask the necessary questions about if he has his homework in his bag, any papers, ect, like I suspect most other parents of a 6th grader do.  I drive him down to meet the bus on days when the weather's nasty (it's about a quarter of a mile from the house to the pickup area) which will become virtually everyday once winter sets in here.  I work on the house and the cars when needed.  I mow, take care of the landscaping, plant the gardens, bring in the firewood in the winter; cut, split, and stack the firewood in the summer; run to the post office to mail out the pottery pieces people have purchased from her, and pretty much anything else you can think of when you think of the husband's role in a marriage.

Together with those I also do the majority of the cooking, the dishes, much of the cleaning and laundry (though Jimmy is beginning to help out more with each of these and Marilyn helps out as much as she can.)  One of the hard things with Marilyn, however, is that if she pushes herself to do much on a given day it actually makes things much harder for a day or two after.  When she gets worn out, she's done and it takes days not minute or hours to recover.  I see on her face the struggle that she has wanting to help when she can but realizing that she needs to guard against pushing herself to much.

Marilyn can't drive so many things are scheduled and arranged around that.  The main VA clinic in the state is 5-6 hours away so that hour long Dr.s appointment is an all day event. If she's not feeling well a two day trip becomes necessary and we stop at my family's house overnight to take a break and let her relax.  What we attempt to do it schedule other things while we're down that way so it's not such a long trip with minimal results but that's not always possible.  Even if the appointment can be done at our 'local' VA clinic, local is a very relative term considering it's still 60 miles away.  Again, we try to arrange other errands around the trip to make good use of our time, but she can only be on the go for so long before she becomes exhausted and we need to get back.  Basically a standard, local appointment including driving and time spent in the doctors office is roughly 4-6 hours give or take.

Also, because she can't drive all of it falls to me.  I do the grocery and other shopping, take Jimmy to hockey practice and games (some of which are up to two hours away), take them both to all appointments, go to the post office when needed, and whatever tasks most people do.  She does come with me sometimes for grocery shopping duty but we've both decided that the task is much easier accomplished when I take care of it myself.  Not to mention, I think she dislikes doing it as much as I do and it's an easy way for her to get out of it.  HA!

If she's had a bad day or night with pain or has had a seizure I change modes and go into medical professional mode (medical professional?  Yeah, it's the best descriptor I can come up with right now).  After care for a seizure breaks down something like this:  If she feels in coming on ahead of time or the dog alerts we get her to a safe place, preferably seated or lying down.  Once the seizure begins I monitor her, wait for the convulsions to subside and then sit with her rubbing her cheek and saying her name until she opens her eyes and acknowledges who I am.  Postictal (unconscious) time can range anywhere from a minute to upwards of 5 on occasion.  After that it's sleepy time for her for anywhere between 4 and 12 hours.  Usually I remain awake throughout that time and check on her periodically as from time to time her breathing can become very shallow.  The dog generally hangs out on the bed as well as her protector.  Once she awakens there in generally a day or two where her mind is very foggy and she's run down and requires a lot of rest.  She's also had times where her speech is pretty severely affected.  When this happens the only way I can describe it is that she speaks like a stroke victim.  It's very clunky, like she's trying to say the words but her body won't allow it.  During the time I've known her this has happened a couple times though her speech is somewhat slowed after nearly every seizure.  It once lasted three days and another time about a week.  Apparently before we got together it happened for a much longer period after one particurally bad seizure and the speech issue lasted for a couple months.

My job after seizures is very similar what I do on days where the pain in her legs gets up to about a 7 or 8 to a 10.  These days either require use of both crutches or her wheelchair.  Often she requires help with various stages of dressing herself, standing up, getting out of bed, and manouvering in and out of the shower during these times.  I spend a lot of time running during these times as well.  Preparing and bringing in food, moving things around, and getting her whatever she requires.  Those days are the most physically and mentally exhausting.  It hard to watch someone you care about in an assload of pain.  It's hard on them as well knowing that it's hard on you.  Thankfully, I'm a big guy.  At least, that's what I tell my wife.

It's can be hard to explain to those who've never done it or had someone close to them who's been a caretaker.  When I first entered into this I thought it would be easy and looked at others who'd done it and didn't understand the time involved and the stress it could bring about so it's easy for me to understand the questions people may have.  Sometimes it feels like I'm busy when I'm not really busy.  Something it took awhile to understand is that it can take awhile to figure out a routine.  I don't mean a day to day routine because that can change at a moments notice.  But routines for getting things done.  We're still playing with some things to find what works and doesn't but it's coming together slowly and as it does things become much easier.

So that's a very basic breakdown.  To get into anything and everything that could happen in a day or week would require be to basically write a book and if you're anything like me, you'd lose interest pretty quickly reading about the duldrums that come with every day life.  In many ways our life isn't all the much different than many other's I suspect and certainly much better than other families with a disability in the home.  We try not to focus on the negative and are constantly challenging ourselves to be better.    It's not always sunny, but we have lights that enable us to see the good things every day in life.

Crazy Winter Beginning

Winter for us is a rather strange time of year.  Like everyone else we've been blasted by the crazy weather we've had this year.  It turned our normal 3 and a half hour trip home to an 8 hour ordeal due to an ice storm that hammered the southern part of Maine a couple days before Christmas.  To top it off, my family was among the thousands who didn't have power for days (5 in our case).  Because we're a hardy bunch we still had a wonderful Christmas with meals cooked on and in my grandparents cook stove and spent a lot of time talking with no tv in the background with I can't complain about.  It was an old fashion Christmas and it was pretty awesome in a lot of ways.

Both before and after the trip home for the holidays we've been dealing with some serious cold temperatures.  From what I've read it was the coldest and snowiest December in 5 years where we are and has been described to me by locals as the definition of an "Old Fashion" winter.  I wouldn't mind it so much but it certainly alters our particular lifestyle.  Because of the way this house is set up, it's an extreme pain in the ass to keep warm during those cold spells.  There is a soap stone wood stove in the living room which does a great job keeping that end of the house warm.  However, because of it's location almost none of the heat makes it's way to the other end of the house.  Another issue with it is that the living room was an add on by the previous owner and was stick built and insulated properly while the other end of the house was a very roughly built log home.  I spent a good deal of time this summer re-chinking it (what the sealant in a log home is called) but didn't get it completely finished. (We didn't have the funds to rent a lift this year and working at the top of a 25 ft ladder was a no go).  It's mostly done and has made a huge difference but there's obviously some heat loss.  At the log end of the home there was also a porch that was added on but the geniuses who built it negated to insulate the damn thing.  The porch is also open to the who house so it's not possible to simply close it down for the winter months.  Intelligent move in this climate.

So we have the wood stove in the well insulated end of the home and at the other end a propane fireplace/stove thing that may work in a small room but not in such a large area.  In the addition (which is now the wife's pottery studio) there's a pellet stove as well.  On the really cold nights we also need to run an electric heater in the basement to insure the pipes don't freeze.  So what does it mean for us?  It means we run the house in shifts.  One of us is up during the day and the other stays up all night to tend the stove and make sure all is well with the electric heater.  This is obviously hell on all of us.  Since I take Jimmy to hockey games and such Marilyn has been doing the majority of the night shifts though I've done a few here and there when she's had a rough day (or night for that matter).  It's a very interesting way to live to say the least.

Though it's a pain in the ass to live this way, I have certainly had the opportunity to educate myself on different things home heating related!  I done a lot of things I'd never done much of; insulating a floor, hanging plastic over exterior windows, banking the house with snow, chinking (which by the way I don't ever want to F***king do again!), cleaning chimneys and fixing and cleaning pellet stove.  Yes, it's been a couple years of education regarding homes and extreme weather.  Lesson's I'm going to be very happy to apply to my own home further south as soon as possible!.  :)  

Frustration with the World of Medicine

Over the course of our many visits to various doctors we've faced frustration after frustration in our attempt to get answers.  However, before I get too far into this post I feel as though I should first preface the following sentences by stating that I really don't have much faith in the world of medicine.  It's not that I don't think doctors are needed or that I don't think many of them are good people; I see a flawed system that is set up to fail from the outset because it's based on the premise that it's ok to treat symptoms rather than causation.  Personally, I very rarely visit traditional Doctors.  Unless it's an ER visit or something small that I know I simply need medication for (of which most likely I will only take until the symptoms recede), I don't go.  Sure, at some point I'll most likely go in for yearly or bi-yearly physicals and for the dreaded finger test but I'm not there yet and instead have decide to take my health into my own hands.

My preference is holistic medicine and traditional remedies for every day issues.  I've never had a flu shot, I don't have a family Dr., and I have no prescriptions taking up room in the medicine cabinet but as I believe I mentioned before, I do have a chiropractor friend that I can visit when I'm in the area for adjustments or contact otherwise if I'm having an issue I'm having trouble diagnosing or treating.  Some may consider this nuts but considering I spent $1,500 dollars for 3 Dr. visits and an MRI for a problem she diagnosed in 5 minutes during a $40 visit (without an MRI or any other technology), I'll take my chances with this unconventional approach.

Ok, back to the post at hand.  A few weeks ago Marilyn and I made a trip to see a new neurologist for her first meeting.  As I stated above, my biggest issue with today's medical profession is treating for symptoms rather than cause.  I think my second biggest issue is simply relying on the opinion of previous doctors over the information the patient is attempting to tell you.  Unfortunately I feel this is becoming a norm when dealing with her issues.  Now, it could be that the neurologist was simply attempting to get background and nothing more today so that she can develop a course of action leading into the next scheduled appointment but when you've seen this similar pattern previously it gets frustrating...extremely fucking frustrating.

The following appointment I really had the opportunity to see what was up with this woman.  She'd sent Marilyn and I to an appointment at a hospital in Bangor (4 hours away) for an EEG the month before.  Rather than have a complete EEG done where she would stay in the hospital and be monitored, they hooked her up and sent her home for the weekend.  It didn't make sense to me but she's the Doctor not me so I went with it.  When we went in for the following appointment after that EEG she reiterated what the Army docs had told her based on her file and the results from that single test.  She was using that test as a be all, end all for her diagnosis.  When I questioned her on it (EEG's done outside the scalp are only able to detect seizure activity a short distance into the brain.) she continued to throw out the term 'pseudoseizure'.  When I informed her that I'd been doing a serious amount of research about the difference between a pseudo and grand mal seizure, including watching videos for comparison to what I've seen, she became indignant which in turn pissed me off and I think she knew it.  At the end of the visit she didn't even come back in but rather sent her charge nurse to bring us some paper work.  Paper work that included information on PTSD....Like I don't fucking know about PTSD.  To really cap things off though she took Marilyn off her seizure meds...at at once!!  She simply didn't allow the script to be refilled.  What kind of Doctor doesn't ween their patients off meds like that to ensure their safety?  Needless to say after our experience with her as well as learning from our home care nurse we're not the only ones with similar experiences, we're not going back.  At this point we've decided to wait until we move and can get in touch with some REAL neurologists not this fake collecting a paycheck we have up here.

The truth is no one seems to know is going on.  The Army listed her as having pseudo seizures which is basically the minds way of shutting the body down (google it for a more in-depth description) and has some similar symptoms to epileptic seizures.  SOME similarities being key here for while they have things in common the differences are pretty drastic. Being involved and presented with the on a daily basis, I took some time to look them up so I would be aware of what to look for.  Contrary to belief most pseudo seizures aren't controlled by the individual having them but they can be helped with psychological treatment and counseling over time.  Realistically, I'd be ok with the diagnosis if it would help her not only with the seizures but also with her memory issues, neuropothy in her legs, and daily tremors.  At least a course of action would be being taken toward attempting to help her rather than just waiting for the next issue to arise.  However, as I become more educated on neurological disorders, issues, symptoms, and the like, I feel as though many of these people are simply relying on the chart rather than asking questions of both Marilyn and I, and are making limited efforts to answer questions on their own and are instead listening to someone else's opinion.

For those reading this, this is not simply a VA issue though they certainly have their horror stories from around the country.  At our location we're dealing with the VA some but for her specialists we're in a different program because it's more cost efficient than having us make 6 hour trips constantly.  It's both easier on us because it's cuts out travel down significantly as well as more cost effective for the VA because they're not having to pay travel costs for the roughly 450 mile round trip.  So, while we're dealing with the VA, it's on a limited basis.   These experiences have led us to the decision that once we move we're going outside the system and are going to look for a neuro who'll look at her case with fresh eyes.  It's to the point that we're not even going to take or have her history sent to them.  Everything they hear, at least in the beginning, will be from us.  Later, if they want something we'll provide them with it but in the beginning we want someone who's going to have actually take the time to look at things and develop their own opinion.  We've also just met someone with a sever case of Lyme disease and have decided to pursue testing for that as well.

I don't know if it's always been like that, but it seems to me that if there's no money to be made, the medical profession doesn't really give a shit about patient health or care.  It makes sense in a way.  The longer you're sick, the more money that can be made off you.  Sad that I even have that thought but my own experiences combined with the stories floating all around have led me here.  I sincerely hope that we can find someone who's willing to take on her case and really look to solve it.  If that day comes I'll use this blog (though it's rather small at the moment) to promote that person like no body's business!  I want my wife to get well.  I want others suffering from sever conditions to get well.  And most of us, I want our medical professionals to stop treating symptoms and begin treating ailments.   

Resolutions

I'm not normally huge on resolutions but this year feels a little different.  At the end of the past few years I went into the next year hoping things would be better.  As I'm writing this today I feel as though this coming year is going to be exciting and full of possibilities.  Last year wasn't bad, don't get me wrong.  I outlined some of those highlights in my last post so I don't feel the need to regurgitate them here but man, for whatever reason I'm excited.

As I'm pretty straight forward and to the point, I won't prolong this any longer.  However, know this is not my full list of goals and resolutions for the year but only the ones that pertain directly to the family and this blog.  So, without further adieu, my goals for 2014!

1.)  Be more consistent with my blog entries.
     I've been lacking a bit in this department for the past few months and to begin the year I'm hoping to be more on top of it.  Be expecting to see a few posts within the next few days as I post what are now drafts so I can clear my board and begin fresh for the new year.

2.)  Find, purchase, and move into a new home.
     This is high up on both Marilyn and I's list.  Moving further south and into a home better suited for us will allow us to be closer to better Doctors, my family, Jimmy's family, and other services we're anxious to take advantage of.

3.)  Quit chewing tobacco.
     I know many people who have the goals to quit tobacco at the beginning of every year.  This would benefit both myself and the family now and in the long term.  Kind of a now brainer after spending more than 15 years doing it.  (I'm 30 by the way.  Half a life on this shit is enough.)

4.)  Continue and take our change to a healthier lifestyle to the next level.
     We're changing the way we prepare food and our exercise habits.  Marilyn is looking to get back into yoga and for now I'm jumping back on the Rush Fit DVD's until we do get moved and I can join my friends back at the gym.  We planning and preparing meals ahead of time to save time and money because we won't be throwing away as much food.  Eating out is going to become extremely limited as well.

5.)  Finish my first novel.
     I've been working on the damn thing for the past 6 years.  I was hoping to finish the initial draft before the end of this year but I've been so busy I haven't written in the past 6 months.  It's time to open that baby up and get it done.  I know the editing process is going to be time consuming and if I ever want to get started on my new idea for a novel I need to get the first one done.

So there they are.  Not a huge list but things that are certainly within the realm of accomplishing with a little time and effort.  What are your goals or resolutions for 2014?

In closing, please be safe if you're going out tonight.  Call a friend or a cab and don't drink and drive.  Have fun, live it up, and enjoy all the simple things!

Years End

It's coming to the end of the 2013 and what a year it's been.  It's a year that saw me marry my "Love Monkey", become a step-dad, have Jimmy move up to live with us, become a hockey parent...and that's all in the past few months!!  At this point I'm not even sure what happened at the beginning of the year because I've been so busy with all the life changes lately!  HAHA.  It's caused me to run around like a chicken with my head cut off at times, fall behind on my blog entries; laugh, smile, shut down, open up, and at times generally feel like I'm losing my God damn mind....and this was all separate from the day to day goings on with the wife's up and down health issues.  It's fun when it's done but sometimes it's a wonder I have any hair left.

As I'm writing this Christmas, is only a few days a way.  I'm behind on everything.  I need to purchase the rest of my presents tomorrow if the weather cooperates  (And before you judge the fact I'm behind, my credit card info was stolen and I was without access to my checking account for the past two weeks because my bank is four hours away.)  The other things; those can be considered my fault however!  I have things I need to finish building and making, I haven't wrapped one thing I did purchase, I have a house and car in need of cleaning before we leave to have the holiday with my family, and I have paperwork I need to finish and mail out ASAP.  Marilyn's health has been up and down constantly, because of the way the house is set up and because we live in such a cold climate it's necessary for one of us to be to up all night watching the heat sources, and sometimes I feel like I'm on the run constantly for Jimmy's hockey practices and games.  (If you're a hockey parent, you have some notion of this kind of schedule)

However, even with everything going on, IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME!  I love this time of year for a variety of reasons.  For me the season is much more than simply presents under the tree.  It's a time set aside for family where we can all enjoy one another's company and look back at the previous years trials and tribulations.  It's also a time for hope.  Magic can happen during this time of year, at least it seems that way to me.  I like some of the sappy Christmas movies as I think they have a certain inspirational quality.  Sad to say, it's one of the few times during the year when my faith in humanity becomes absolute.  A little strange, I know.

It's also a time of year where we can look forward to hopes that the next year will or may be just a little better than the previous one.  If not necessarily better, than different if it suits you better.  It's hard to imagine a better year for my family but it doesn't change the fact we have some things we're hoping to improve on.  We're looking to purchase a home further down state.  This will enable many things for us depending on the location.  Marilyn can finally have the pottery studio she both wants and needs.  I can hopefully start a Christmas tree farm and go back to work.  We'll be closer to Jimmy's family.  And my friends and family will be within visiting distance.  Together with that I have hope that next year we'll figure out what's going on with Marilyn's health.  This hope is not currently based on anything particular that's happened but it's a hope I'll have at the end of every year until the puzzle is solved.

This was just kind of a quick "here's what's going on since I haven't written in awhile" post.  I'm hoping that once we're back from holiday I'll be back to posting on a regular basis.  First up for 2014 will be a "resolutions" post.  Stay tuned!  Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year and don't forget during this time of year to remember the simple things.  :)