It's been a crazy few months in the our household. While Shawna's health has been basically steady; that is, up and down but not seemingly in decline, we've all been pretty busy. She's been at work as much as possible with her ceramics getting ready for a large craft fair she has coming up later in November, trying to complete an order for a brewery in central Maine, as well as create sculpture pieces. On top of all this, she's trying to get a non-profit off the ground called Healing Arts of Maine which is aimed at using art to help those who've suffered and/or suffering from the things no one likes to talk about; abuse at the hands of a love one, PTSD related to a variety of situations including those received in battle, as a first responder, and as an abuse victim, and those with various mental disorders. On top of everything else she has going on it's quite an endeavor.
Caden just finished football season a few weeks ago and did a great job as the team quarterback. The whole team was wonderful and the amount of improvement they showed from the beginning of the season to the end left me feeling proud to be one of their coaches. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I spent my first season ever as a coach (assistant) this past fall. It was a pretty incredible experience to be part of such an amazing turn around for our JR program. From no wins the past 3 years to a 4-2 record this year! While we as coaches are often given much of the credit for the turnaround, for me the credit goes to the incredible young men who spent countless hours, sweat, and tears learning and applying what we were attempting to teach them.
On top of football, Caden has been doing a much better job applying himself as a student than he did when he originally came to live with us last year. He's settled in wonderfully after a bit of a rough start and his attitude and grades reflect that. While he still has some issues on days when Shawna is not in the best of health, that's certainly understandable for a 12 year old. He's been handed one hell of a hand at various times in his life and he amazes me with his ability to adapt to the situations presented to him. I have to give kudos to his mom and dad for helping him develop a mental fortitude that is well beyond his years. Unfortunate as it is that so much is required of him at times, there is a part of me that believes it will be for his betterment as he moves from his teen years onto his adult life.
As to what I've been up to the past couple of months, other than football it's seemingly been all winter preparation all the time. Firewood was a major concern for us as I made the mistake of not planning to be here this winter. It's all cut and stack in the shed, much of it without the use of a tractor or other implement to get it out of the woods. I am, however, thankful for some good people in the community who helped us both get some of the wood I was cutting out and for our neighbors who allowed me to borrow their wood splitter for the day. While much of the wood we have is still green (not dry for you non wood burners), we at least have a enough stacked and drying in our shed to get us through the winter months.
On top of this, I've been attempting to better insulate and prepare the house for the cold months ahead. What many may or may not realize is exactly how bad our weather can get during the winter months. I'm talking nights that are -30 and day's that don't break zero with well over a 100 inches of snow thrown in. Some years are milder and easier to manage while others are like last year and never seem to end. The one big difference we''ll have this year is that Caden has made the decision not to play hockey. Financially this will greatly benefit us while looking for a new home further south and mentally I think he needed the break from the rigors and demand the sport requires.
So that's a brief summary of what's been going on. I have some other posts already in the wings that I'm hoping to finally finish now that winter is bringing about a much slower period of my year. I have some other things planned for this winter to get accomplished that I'll get into the the coming weeks but needless to say I don't intend to just sit around with my finger up my ass like I have seemed to do the past couple of winters. Now that we're going into our third winter in this location I have a much better understanding of what it is that we're facing this coming season and I'm hoping this knowledge will help me get more accomplished. This of course in reliant upon Shawna's health holding but even if there are hiccups this winter, and I expect there will be, if Caden and I work together, and with the knowledge that our family has local help from some great people if needed, I fully expect this winter will not be like the past two and be a hell of a lot easier on all of us.
Saturday, November 8, 2014
Thursday, September 11, 2014
9/11
For anyone who's old enough to remember, September 11th, 2001 is one of those days where, like the assassination of JFK and attack on Pearl Harbor, you remember where you were, what you're were doing, and who you were with when you heard that two planes had hit the twin towers in New York. You probably also remember the same details when you heard a plane hit the pentagon and also about United Airlines flight 93 crashing in a field in Pennsylvania; which was apparently on its way toward Washington as well before passengers attempted to retake the plane. While I remember details about all the events, the most vivid is when I first found out what was going on. I was sitting in my freshman english class at Husson College (now University) when my professor's phone rang. She stepped out of the room and when she returned it was with an ashen look on her face. She informed us that a airplane had hit the north tower in New York. While we were all in class with no access to the news at the time, her husband worked for a local news affiliate. At the time we were all a little dumbstruck at hearing the news and because we were in a college setting and people attend from all over the US, she asked if anyone needed to leave to check on family. To my recollection no one did.
A short time later her phone rang and again she stepped from the room. When she reentered it was easy to tell something was very wrong. She almost had a look of panic though she was attempting to keep herself composed. Her first words were, "We're fucked, we're sooo fucked." With that we were all put on edge as she informed us that we were under attack. It was somber and sobering to know that our nation was changed forever. As we exited the class and I entered the student lounge, tv's had been brought from other areas and set up and students were gathered round watching various news channels. At the time I had a suspended license and had to wait for a ride so I headed to the dorms and spent the next few hours with some friends watching, discussing, and going through the range of emotions that I think most American's did.
This is just my story of the day though. While the day certainly had an impact, for me there was nothing direct. For many others, like my wife's family, the day was very different. On that day her dad was supposed to be working at the pentagon. Unbeknownst to her and others his meeting has been transferred last minute to Alabama. There was a heavy deal of panic as they attempted to locate him and the memories of that still linger for them. Still, for others there were hours of attempting to get through to loved ones and sadly for many there were calls that would never be achieved. It's a day that's remembered for many reasons and no two stories are the same.
I have another post I've begun that gets into the after but that's for another day. Today, as we remember that day, let us not just remember the events, but the people. Those innocents that perished. The first responders who made the ultimate sacrifice so that others could live. The men and women who spent days and months searching for survivors and later on, the remains so that families could get at least a small amount of closure. The men and women who took up arms when the nation asked them too. The nation was shaped that day and the events have had a long lingering effect on everyone in this nation but particularly those who were there and those who spent a vast amount of time oversees because of it. Today let's take the time to remember them, all of them; the people, our fellow countrymen, and put into action a plan to make ourselves better in honor of their sacrifice.
A short time later her phone rang and again she stepped from the room. When she reentered it was easy to tell something was very wrong. She almost had a look of panic though she was attempting to keep herself composed. Her first words were, "We're fucked, we're sooo fucked." With that we were all put on edge as she informed us that we were under attack. It was somber and sobering to know that our nation was changed forever. As we exited the class and I entered the student lounge, tv's had been brought from other areas and set up and students were gathered round watching various news channels. At the time I had a suspended license and had to wait for a ride so I headed to the dorms and spent the next few hours with some friends watching, discussing, and going through the range of emotions that I think most American's did.
This is just my story of the day though. While the day certainly had an impact, for me there was nothing direct. For many others, like my wife's family, the day was very different. On that day her dad was supposed to be working at the pentagon. Unbeknownst to her and others his meeting has been transferred last minute to Alabama. There was a heavy deal of panic as they attempted to locate him and the memories of that still linger for them. Still, for others there were hours of attempting to get through to loved ones and sadly for many there were calls that would never be achieved. It's a day that's remembered for many reasons and no two stories are the same.
I have another post I've begun that gets into the after but that's for another day. Today, as we remember that day, let us not just remember the events, but the people. Those innocents that perished. The first responders who made the ultimate sacrifice so that others could live. The men and women who spent days and months searching for survivors and later on, the remains so that families could get at least a small amount of closure. The men and women who took up arms when the nation asked them too. The nation was shaped that day and the events have had a long lingering effect on everyone in this nation but particularly those who were there and those who spent a vast amount of time oversees because of it. Today let's take the time to remember them, all of them; the people, our fellow countrymen, and put into action a plan to make ourselves better in honor of their sacrifice.
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Validation
Before I get into the actual subject of my post, I noticed the other day that while I've been not sharing our actual identity since I began this blog over a year ago, I hadn't turned off the feature that showed my real name at the bottom. Whoops! LOL. I guess using fake names is kind of out at this point so before I go any further, I figured I'll go ahead and let any readers know that my name is actually Justin. My wife is Shawna not Marilyn, my step-son is Caden not Jimmy (though his getting himself in hot water like Jimmy Neutron still stands) and our dogs name is Kane. From here forward I figure there's no sense in keeping it quiet since more and more people are associating the blog with me anyways. Who knows, perhaps I'll actually share it myself at some point..
So, back to the topic at hand. Because of where we live, Shawna is involved in the ARCH program which means that essentially the VA sub contracts out Dr.s for her to visit closer to our home since we live 250 miles away from the nearest VA hospital (Togus) and about 200 miles away from the nearest VA facility (Bangor). This could and is changing for everyone I believe as a new law that's passed will allow military veterans to see Dr's outside the VA if you live further than 40 miles, but it hasn't yet. Anyways, this is how we ended up with her last neurologist, the one I was bitching about a few months ago. Thankfully she left and is no longer practicing in the area so we don't have to visit her ignorant ass ever again. This left us with an issue however. My wife had no neurologist in the area. So, the VA scheduled her to go to Togus to see the one she had previously. Being that it's a 500 mile, 10 hour round trip we'd decided to cancel said appointment but as of Thursday hadn't yet done so.
Then I spoke to our home care nurse on Thursday afternoon...I'm so very glad that I did! Shawna and I had been discussing for awhile going outside the VA to get the opinion of someone not associated with them. If I have to tell you why we felt it may be a good idea to do so, please do yourself a favor and google 'VA scandals'. With this in mind we decided to take some advice and see a certain neuro located in Presque Isle and to cancel the appointment at Togus on Friday to save the headache that is traveling that freakin far. However, after speaking to our nurse, we decided to make the trip. We'd be seeing her old Dr, the one she had when she originally arrived back in Maine, and if nothing else we'd be in a better place to get her the second opinion from the neurologist in PI. It was the best decision we could have made!
I, and I think my wife as well, entered into the appointment very apprehensive. Our last appointment with her a year and a half or two years ago hadn't gone particurally well and I left there being quite pissed off. It was the beginning of my experiences hearing the term "pseudoseizures" thrown about with no real evidence other than they couldn't figure the cause of her symptoms. I was expecting more of the same and figured the appointment was going to take about 20 minutes and then we'd be on our way annoyed we'd driven so far to hear a bunch of bullshit...Now, if there's one thing I was taught it's that when you're right you stand your ground and when you're wrong you admit it and take whatever necessary actions are required. Thankfully, in this case a simple admission will do. Because, boy, was I ever WRONG!
Our appointment was nothing short of amazing! By far the best doctors appointment I been to with Shawna. What we were saying was being listened too, she was answering questions before we could ask them, she was giving us information as to what possible problems there may be, we have four or five new tests that Shawna is going to be taking. AND, I think best of all for my wife, the doctor was believing the things she was saying! I was floored and excited at the same time. When I described Shawna's seizures she listened and said, and I want to quote this, "those are not pseudo seizures. Those are tonic." I was so fucking happy that someone finally listened to what I had been saying for two years I almost hollered"'WOOOOO HOOO!" And for my wife to be validated, well that felt equally as good as I swear I saw about 50lbs fall off her back. Apparently in the nearly two years since our last visit to her, she's had multiple people come in from Shawna's generation of service with similar symptoms. This led her to the conclusion that while a single person experiencing these health issues could possibly be psychological in nature, to have multiple people complaining of the same problems pointed to something else entirely. It was a validation for my wife that she definitely needed. And to top it all off, not only did she not chastise Shawna for using natural supplements to help with her pain, tremors, and seizure prevention; she encouraged her to continue and actually asked for more information about them and who makes them so she could do further research! Never in my life have a seen a doctor of any kind do that.
So, where are we going from here. We'll be going to see another neuro that's located closer to us to get their opinion as well. We'll get Shawna signed up for the testing though it could take awhile because with Caden starting back to school this week it's difficult to make trips where we could be gone for days unless he's on vacation. She'll continue with the natural treatments and take what tests we can arrange locally and both of us will push forward with our own research so we have questions to ask when we attend appointments. Though there is obviously still no diagnosis, for the first time since I've met my wife is feels as though there is some hope at the end of the tunnel. And that, that is one hell of a great feeling.
So, back to the topic at hand. Because of where we live, Shawna is involved in the ARCH program which means that essentially the VA sub contracts out Dr.s for her to visit closer to our home since we live 250 miles away from the nearest VA hospital (Togus) and about 200 miles away from the nearest VA facility (Bangor). This could and is changing for everyone I believe as a new law that's passed will allow military veterans to see Dr's outside the VA if you live further than 40 miles, but it hasn't yet. Anyways, this is how we ended up with her last neurologist, the one I was bitching about a few months ago. Thankfully she left and is no longer practicing in the area so we don't have to visit her ignorant ass ever again. This left us with an issue however. My wife had no neurologist in the area. So, the VA scheduled her to go to Togus to see the one she had previously. Being that it's a 500 mile, 10 hour round trip we'd decided to cancel said appointment but as of Thursday hadn't yet done so.
Then I spoke to our home care nurse on Thursday afternoon...I'm so very glad that I did! Shawna and I had been discussing for awhile going outside the VA to get the opinion of someone not associated with them. If I have to tell you why we felt it may be a good idea to do so, please do yourself a favor and google 'VA scandals'. With this in mind we decided to take some advice and see a certain neuro located in Presque Isle and to cancel the appointment at Togus on Friday to save the headache that is traveling that freakin far. However, after speaking to our nurse, we decided to make the trip. We'd be seeing her old Dr, the one she had when she originally arrived back in Maine, and if nothing else we'd be in a better place to get her the second opinion from the neurologist in PI. It was the best decision we could have made!
I, and I think my wife as well, entered into the appointment very apprehensive. Our last appointment with her a year and a half or two years ago hadn't gone particurally well and I left there being quite pissed off. It was the beginning of my experiences hearing the term "pseudoseizures" thrown about with no real evidence other than they couldn't figure the cause of her symptoms. I was expecting more of the same and figured the appointment was going to take about 20 minutes and then we'd be on our way annoyed we'd driven so far to hear a bunch of bullshit...Now, if there's one thing I was taught it's that when you're right you stand your ground and when you're wrong you admit it and take whatever necessary actions are required. Thankfully, in this case a simple admission will do. Because, boy, was I ever WRONG!
Our appointment was nothing short of amazing! By far the best doctors appointment I been to with Shawna. What we were saying was being listened too, she was answering questions before we could ask them, she was giving us information as to what possible problems there may be, we have four or five new tests that Shawna is going to be taking. AND, I think best of all for my wife, the doctor was believing the things she was saying! I was floored and excited at the same time. When I described Shawna's seizures she listened and said, and I want to quote this, "those are not pseudo seizures. Those are tonic." I was so fucking happy that someone finally listened to what I had been saying for two years I almost hollered"'WOOOOO HOOO!" And for my wife to be validated, well that felt equally as good as I swear I saw about 50lbs fall off her back. Apparently in the nearly two years since our last visit to her, she's had multiple people come in from Shawna's generation of service with similar symptoms. This led her to the conclusion that while a single person experiencing these health issues could possibly be psychological in nature, to have multiple people complaining of the same problems pointed to something else entirely. It was a validation for my wife that she definitely needed. And to top it all off, not only did she not chastise Shawna for using natural supplements to help with her pain, tremors, and seizure prevention; she encouraged her to continue and actually asked for more information about them and who makes them so she could do further research! Never in my life have a seen a doctor of any kind do that.
So, where are we going from here. We'll be going to see another neuro that's located closer to us to get their opinion as well. We'll get Shawna signed up for the testing though it could take awhile because with Caden starting back to school this week it's difficult to make trips where we could be gone for days unless he's on vacation. She'll continue with the natural treatments and take what tests we can arrange locally and both of us will push forward with our own research so we have questions to ask when we attend appointments. Though there is obviously still no diagnosis, for the first time since I've met my wife is feels as though there is some hope at the end of the tunnel. And that, that is one hell of a great feeling.
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Learning
By now I'm sure you've all heard about the passing of actor/comedian Robin Williams last week. Unbeknownst to the general public at the time, Mr. Williams had suffered from depression on and off for years before taking his own life. It's an event that's played out all too often, especially among veterans.
As I've stated previously in this blog, I myself, am not a veteran. However, I retain close relationships with many within my family, friends, and other social circles. Because of this and my desire to study and understand human behavior, I'm often involved in conversations and reading material from a variety of sources that pertain to the military and stories and accounts of aftercare, the VA, ect. While I can, in no-way, have a perfect or complete understanding of military life or many of the post-service problems that arise, by educating myself as much as possible I'm enabled to better receive and communicate with my friends and family when and if I'm require too. Being that I'm married to and a caretaker for a veteran, this course of action has helped me to help her to the best of my ability many times over.
It is currently estimated that 22 veterans in the United States commit suicide every day. Twenty Two... That equates to 8030 veteran suicides a year. It's a number that seems so unbelievably high that it nearly betrays belief. However, that's 8030 families that are all too aware of exactly how believable it is. In the past few days I've seen the same question come up over and over. Why is the suicide of Robin Williams making so much news both in this country and around the world while the veteran suicide rate seems to be nothing more than a blip on the radar? I hope I can at least give a partial answer, or at least display some intelligence while conveying what my thoughts are.
The one main thing that Williams had that most, if not all the veterans don't have, is the vast connection with so many others. I'm not referring to family or friend connections. Williams connected with people all over the world. They saw him in movies, on tv, doing comedy, and making trips overseas to entertain the troops. He was very likable and came across as approachable. He was someone who you felt like you'd want to know. And he was real. He wasn't surrounded by a hoard of hangers on and didn't speak in the third person. When you saw him do an interview you felt as if you knew him. And that's why I believe his death has resonated with people the way it has. You felt as though you lost someone you knew personally. I never have much of a response to the death of a celebrity, suicide or otherwise. But Williams death was different, it did mean something to me.
Seeing Dead Poets Society when I was in my early teens and then again as I got older, made me think about things in a different way and perhaps in someways shaped the way I've made decisions in life. That's no small feat for anyone. The only other people that have had the effect on my life are my family and closest friends. You see, I don't think that his death is important to people simply because he's a celebrity; I think it's important to people because in some way he had an impact on their life. I'm positive all of the 22 vets who commit suicide daily have had impacts on the lives of others also, but it's not seen and therefore doesn't seem as personal. I don't believe that most people think losing 22 vets per day is unimportant, but it is my belief that they don't hold the same personal connection they felt with the Williams death and therefore it's simply not as important in their lives. This is not to degrade them or discount their service, it's simply human nature to react differently to the death of someone depending on the impact they've had in our lives.
A couple of years ago, perennial Pro-Bowl selection and likely future NFL Hall-Of-Famer Junior Seau committed suicide. He did so in a way that his brain would be left to science to be examined. At the time, the link between multiple blows to the head, TBI, and depression was still in it's infancy. There had been other former players that had also committed suicide but it was his death that awoke the public consciousness. Why? He had name recognition yes, but he also presented him self as a very likable person. An every man who was living his dream and unlike many athletes, who showed up to work hard everyday because he was aware of how lucky he was to be in that position. The news of his death hit the sports world like wild fire and then transferred over to the public at large. Since then a mountain of data has become available on the connection between TBI and emotions and strides are being made in treating people not only on the athletic field of play, but those involved in accidents involving head trauma as well as injuries received on the battlefield. Had it not been for his popularity and name recognition scientists might still be attempting to make the connections.
Why would I bring this up? Because I'm hoping the same thing can happen with the death of Robin Williams. Perhaps we can finally release depression from the prision of taboo subjects and some strides can be made as to the how's and why's and treatments that help solve the issues rather than simply treat the symptoms can become available. That soldiers and others can get the treatments they need without having to deal with the social stigma. If, after all, a man who seemed so happy and alive and took so much joy bringing others happiness can fall prey to such a horrible disease, can't anyone? It's time we knock down the barriers and have some open and honest conversations with each other about this disease. It's time we stopped looking at those with depression as somehow broken or unfit and realize that it can truly happened to anyone, soldiers and civilians alike. It's time we look around at each other and realize that it doesn't take that much fucking effort to ask someone how they're doing, to pick up the phone and give them a call, to tell them you're there to listen if they need you, or to simply tell them you love and care about them. And you know what, if the depression caused suicide of Robin Williams helps us to achieve those goals and others I'm likely forgetting, than the attention that his death has brought can't be a bad thing.
As I've stated previously in this blog, I myself, am not a veteran. However, I retain close relationships with many within my family, friends, and other social circles. Because of this and my desire to study and understand human behavior, I'm often involved in conversations and reading material from a variety of sources that pertain to the military and stories and accounts of aftercare, the VA, ect. While I can, in no-way, have a perfect or complete understanding of military life or many of the post-service problems that arise, by educating myself as much as possible I'm enabled to better receive and communicate with my friends and family when and if I'm require too. Being that I'm married to and a caretaker for a veteran, this course of action has helped me to help her to the best of my ability many times over.
It is currently estimated that 22 veterans in the United States commit suicide every day. Twenty Two... That equates to 8030 veteran suicides a year. It's a number that seems so unbelievably high that it nearly betrays belief. However, that's 8030 families that are all too aware of exactly how believable it is. In the past few days I've seen the same question come up over and over. Why is the suicide of Robin Williams making so much news both in this country and around the world while the veteran suicide rate seems to be nothing more than a blip on the radar? I hope I can at least give a partial answer, or at least display some intelligence while conveying what my thoughts are.
The one main thing that Williams had that most, if not all the veterans don't have, is the vast connection with so many others. I'm not referring to family or friend connections. Williams connected with people all over the world. They saw him in movies, on tv, doing comedy, and making trips overseas to entertain the troops. He was very likable and came across as approachable. He was someone who you felt like you'd want to know. And he was real. He wasn't surrounded by a hoard of hangers on and didn't speak in the third person. When you saw him do an interview you felt as if you knew him. And that's why I believe his death has resonated with people the way it has. You felt as though you lost someone you knew personally. I never have much of a response to the death of a celebrity, suicide or otherwise. But Williams death was different, it did mean something to me.
Seeing Dead Poets Society when I was in my early teens and then again as I got older, made me think about things in a different way and perhaps in someways shaped the way I've made decisions in life. That's no small feat for anyone. The only other people that have had the effect on my life are my family and closest friends. You see, I don't think that his death is important to people simply because he's a celebrity; I think it's important to people because in some way he had an impact on their life. I'm positive all of the 22 vets who commit suicide daily have had impacts on the lives of others also, but it's not seen and therefore doesn't seem as personal. I don't believe that most people think losing 22 vets per day is unimportant, but it is my belief that they don't hold the same personal connection they felt with the Williams death and therefore it's simply not as important in their lives. This is not to degrade them or discount their service, it's simply human nature to react differently to the death of someone depending on the impact they've had in our lives.
A couple of years ago, perennial Pro-Bowl selection and likely future NFL Hall-Of-Famer Junior Seau committed suicide. He did so in a way that his brain would be left to science to be examined. At the time, the link between multiple blows to the head, TBI, and depression was still in it's infancy. There had been other former players that had also committed suicide but it was his death that awoke the public consciousness. Why? He had name recognition yes, but he also presented him self as a very likable person. An every man who was living his dream and unlike many athletes, who showed up to work hard everyday because he was aware of how lucky he was to be in that position. The news of his death hit the sports world like wild fire and then transferred over to the public at large. Since then a mountain of data has become available on the connection between TBI and emotions and strides are being made in treating people not only on the athletic field of play, but those involved in accidents involving head trauma as well as injuries received on the battlefield. Had it not been for his popularity and name recognition scientists might still be attempting to make the connections.
Why would I bring this up? Because I'm hoping the same thing can happen with the death of Robin Williams. Perhaps we can finally release depression from the prision of taboo subjects and some strides can be made as to the how's and why's and treatments that help solve the issues rather than simply treat the symptoms can become available. That soldiers and others can get the treatments they need without having to deal with the social stigma. If, after all, a man who seemed so happy and alive and took so much joy bringing others happiness can fall prey to such a horrible disease, can't anyone? It's time we knock down the barriers and have some open and honest conversations with each other about this disease. It's time we stopped looking at those with depression as somehow broken or unfit and realize that it can truly happened to anyone, soldiers and civilians alike. It's time we look around at each other and realize that it doesn't take that much fucking effort to ask someone how they're doing, to pick up the phone and give them a call, to tell them you're there to listen if they need you, or to simply tell them you love and care about them. And you know what, if the depression caused suicide of Robin Williams helps us to achieve those goals and others I'm likely forgetting, than the attention that his death has brought can't be a bad thing.
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Busy Summer
I've been away from this for far too long. The truth is this summer has been crazy busy but it's not that I couldn't have found a few minutes here and there to get a post written, it's that when I've sat to write I ended up thinking about a million other things and posts don't get finished. I have four of them that are half done currently and awaiting me to finish and post them. So how is it that this one got written? I have a limited need to come up with original thought as I'm basically recapping what's happened. LOL. It's much easier to simply put down what I've/we've been up to with basically not commentary about it.
Jimmy was supposed to spend the summer with his dad but that got cut short three weeks in. Middle school football up here starts in the middle of the summer not at the end like we were anticipating so it required him to come back 5 weeks early. This was an understandable bummer for him and his dad and step mom but all of us want Jimmy to be able to participate in things he enjoys and he's been talking about playing football for over a year so we made it happen. I'm hoping when the season is over we can get him an extra weekend or two down there before the next sports season arrives.
Marilyn has joined the local American Legion and been super busy with her pottery. It's grown to the point where we can barely contain it in the house! She has 3 huge projects going on right now that need to all be complete in the next couple months so there are days when we barely see each other. First up on the list? Completing a new sculpture piece that will be unveiled at Freedom Fest next month.
Speaking of Freedom Fest, she and I have both become involved with volunteering to help insure it's success. She's been coming up with some great ideas and seeing them through and I've been volunteering time to help get the venue ready for the all day event that will be raising money to build a new Veteran Center in the area. So many people from different walks of life are coming together to help this thing go off as smoothly as possible, it's truly been a great experience. In the next couple of days or weeks I'll hopefully have another post dedicated to the event itself.
Since we're staying here at least another year, I've been busy at work trying to get our firewood for the year. It's definitely a more difficult task with no tractor to help get the wood out but it's coming along. Along with the daily chores and other things that pop up it's certainly been a busy summer thus far with no signs of slowing down. Hopefully my brain will begin to though because it's hard to become a writer when you don't write.
Jimmy was supposed to spend the summer with his dad but that got cut short three weeks in. Middle school football up here starts in the middle of the summer not at the end like we were anticipating so it required him to come back 5 weeks early. This was an understandable bummer for him and his dad and step mom but all of us want Jimmy to be able to participate in things he enjoys and he's been talking about playing football for over a year so we made it happen. I'm hoping when the season is over we can get him an extra weekend or two down there before the next sports season arrives.
Marilyn has joined the local American Legion and been super busy with her pottery. It's grown to the point where we can barely contain it in the house! She has 3 huge projects going on right now that need to all be complete in the next couple months so there are days when we barely see each other. First up on the list? Completing a new sculpture piece that will be unveiled at Freedom Fest next month.
Speaking of Freedom Fest, she and I have both become involved with volunteering to help insure it's success. She's been coming up with some great ideas and seeing them through and I've been volunteering time to help get the venue ready for the all day event that will be raising money to build a new Veteran Center in the area. So many people from different walks of life are coming together to help this thing go off as smoothly as possible, it's truly been a great experience. In the next couple of days or weeks I'll hopefully have another post dedicated to the event itself.
Since we're staying here at least another year, I've been busy at work trying to get our firewood for the year. It's definitely a more difficult task with no tractor to help get the wood out but it's coming along. Along with the daily chores and other things that pop up it's certainly been a busy summer thus far with no signs of slowing down. Hopefully my brain will begin to though because it's hard to become a writer when you don't write.
Thursday, May 15, 2014
New Home Search
House shopping sucks. That's the conclusion I've come too anyways. I was told when this started what a pain in the ass it would be and I can verify that those people were correct. It's not just dealing with the actual process of finding a place that fits all your wants and needs. It's also dealing with the banks, mortgage lenders, insurance companies, tax assessors, and so on. It seems like people are just appearing out of the damn woodwork that we have to either work with, or try to work around. Pain. In. The. Ass. I seriously thought planning and executing a wedding sucked. It has nothing on this process.
Right now our biggest issues is simply finding a place that we both agree on. For me, the biggest concern is the amount of land we get. I grew up on and currently live on what many would consider a pretty large parcel of real estate. I realize I'm going to have to downgrade what I'm used to but in order to both be happy and live the kind of live I want I need enough land to create some sustainability. And acre or two isn't enough to do that. So now I've dropped from the 30-50 acres I desired to 20 or perhaps a little less if the house and location fits our needs. Since we're working within a pretty tight budget, it's driving my stress level through the roof. I don't want to settle. I feel as though I made my decision on which college to attend because I hurried and settled and now I'm paying for something that I don't find the value in. I'm not planning on making that mistake a second time. Especially on a a second very expensive investment.
This is just one requirement for a home. Like everyone in our situation, there are many others. How are the schools in the area? How far are we from various amenities such as the gym I wish to rejoin and hockey for Jimmy? How close is quality medical care? (A big reason for wanting to move is the lack thereof in our current location). And then there's the fact that Marilyn needs a big enough space to set up her pottery studio and a first floor bedroom. It seems like there are a hundred little things that must be taken into consideration before we can say, "This is it. This is where I want to spend the next 50 years of my life." On a good note, however, is the fact that we're open to home that may need a little work. Or, at least require work that will still allow us to be cleared by our mortgage broker. I'm fairly handy so upgrades and/or improvements that need to be made won't be an issue. This could potentially allow us to get a little more house for our dollar.
Interestingly enough, I wrote all the above and then things changed again! HA! We've had some hiccups with our initial mortgage information and found out that we currently qualify for less than initially presented. We could still purchase a home but it would likely be closer to a town and have almost not property attached. This is a big no-no for me. This new information led us to looking at renting a home. However, this would seriously interfere with our lifestyle. Trying to find a place to rent that is set up, or could be set up for Marilyn's pottery studio would be nearly impossible. Not to mention she has two huge orders that need to be filled by this fall. We simply don't have enough time to create a studio space for her. But through all the stress of the past couple of days another option became available. It looks like if we're willing to stay another winter, a new heating system will be installed which will drastically reduce our winter costs as well make being able to leave for a day or two in the winter without fear of the pipes freezing plausible. While I am in no way looking forward to spending another winter up here and being away from the things I desire to to do for another year, when we sat and looked at options it seems like the most reasonable. We learned a lot after the first winter, even more last year, and I think by the time this next one rolls around we'll be in much better shape. I only hope that we don't get hammered next winter like we did this one because damn, having the harshest winter in over 60 years sucked ass.
If I'm learning one thing throughout this process, it's that things can change in a moment. We're constantly learning and doing what we can to apply our new knowledge. Stepping back from time to time to look at the big picture seems to be a key in quality decision making. While we're certainly anxious to find a home and move, to do so in a way that's detrimental to us in the long term is not a mistake we wish to make. The mortgage crisis of 08' highlighted the fact that over burdening oneself with a large mortgage is not a good idea. At the same time trying to find something you're going to be happy with does play a role. Waking up and feeling miserable about something you're paying a good portion of your monthly income too isn't a position anyone wants to find themselves in.
Right now our biggest issues is simply finding a place that we both agree on. For me, the biggest concern is the amount of land we get. I grew up on and currently live on what many would consider a pretty large parcel of real estate. I realize I'm going to have to downgrade what I'm used to but in order to both be happy and live the kind of live I want I need enough land to create some sustainability. And acre or two isn't enough to do that. So now I've dropped from the 30-50 acres I desired to 20 or perhaps a little less if the house and location fits our needs. Since we're working within a pretty tight budget, it's driving my stress level through the roof. I don't want to settle. I feel as though I made my decision on which college to attend because I hurried and settled and now I'm paying for something that I don't find the value in. I'm not planning on making that mistake a second time. Especially on a a second very expensive investment.
This is just one requirement for a home. Like everyone in our situation, there are many others. How are the schools in the area? How far are we from various amenities such as the gym I wish to rejoin and hockey for Jimmy? How close is quality medical care? (A big reason for wanting to move is the lack thereof in our current location). And then there's the fact that Marilyn needs a big enough space to set up her pottery studio and a first floor bedroom. It seems like there are a hundred little things that must be taken into consideration before we can say, "This is it. This is where I want to spend the next 50 years of my life." On a good note, however, is the fact that we're open to home that may need a little work. Or, at least require work that will still allow us to be cleared by our mortgage broker. I'm fairly handy so upgrades and/or improvements that need to be made won't be an issue. This could potentially allow us to get a little more house for our dollar.
Interestingly enough, I wrote all the above and then things changed again! HA! We've had some hiccups with our initial mortgage information and found out that we currently qualify for less than initially presented. We could still purchase a home but it would likely be closer to a town and have almost not property attached. This is a big no-no for me. This new information led us to looking at renting a home. However, this would seriously interfere with our lifestyle. Trying to find a place to rent that is set up, or could be set up for Marilyn's pottery studio would be nearly impossible. Not to mention she has two huge orders that need to be filled by this fall. We simply don't have enough time to create a studio space for her. But through all the stress of the past couple of days another option became available. It looks like if we're willing to stay another winter, a new heating system will be installed which will drastically reduce our winter costs as well make being able to leave for a day or two in the winter without fear of the pipes freezing plausible. While I am in no way looking forward to spending another winter up here and being away from the things I desire to to do for another year, when we sat and looked at options it seems like the most reasonable. We learned a lot after the first winter, even more last year, and I think by the time this next one rolls around we'll be in much better shape. I only hope that we don't get hammered next winter like we did this one because damn, having the harshest winter in over 60 years sucked ass.
If I'm learning one thing throughout this process, it's that things can change in a moment. We're constantly learning and doing what we can to apply our new knowledge. Stepping back from time to time to look at the big picture seems to be a key in quality decision making. While we're certainly anxious to find a home and move, to do so in a way that's detrimental to us in the long term is not a mistake we wish to make. The mortgage crisis of 08' highlighted the fact that over burdening oneself with a large mortgage is not a good idea. At the same time trying to find something you're going to be happy with does play a role. Waking up and feeling miserable about something you're paying a good portion of your monthly income too isn't a position anyone wants to find themselves in.
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Back Again
When I sat down today, I knew that it had been a little while since I'd last written. However, I didn't realize that it had been nearly 6 weeks! It's amazing how from time to time it feels as though life can get away from us. We begin to make lists and write things down only to have other obligations take precedent over what we initially thought was important. That's kind of how it's been around here. Things have been moving back and forth from the front burner to the back and vise versa more than a meal in Chef Ramsey's kitchen.
Regardless, I'm back now and ready to put out some work. First and foremost, I want to wish a very Happy Mothers Day to all the mom's out there! I'm currently sitting in my office trying to hammer out a little work but later today will be time for a nice cooked meal and some quality time together with my wife. I'll be making some phone calls to the women in my life who insured that I made it this far, and I'm hoping to get the wife and boy in the car and go visit a friend of ours who's two children are away; on as a member of the USAF and the other a sophomore in college. The woman I've had in my life up to this point have been nothing short of phenomenal and this is one of the few holidays I'm grateful exists. While I try to thank them as often as possible throughout the year, it's nice that there is a day set aside to recognize their efforts and the love and compassion they've shown us.
So what have I been up to the past few weeks? It feels like we've literally been on the run. The misses has had appointment after appointment (with another one this week). The boy is now doing outdoor track and has had practice and meets. He went down with his dad for April vacation and Marilyn and I spent the week looking at homes. We've been trying to get out financial house in order to qualify for a mortgage when we do find the right one. And to top it off I've been under the weather on and off for the past week. Oh yeah, and the weather has finally turned and all the damn white stuff left by mother nature during the winter is finally gone! All this has obviously been mixed in with the day to day happenings of life (of which you can read about here). However, one great thing that has happened, is now that the winter has finally passed I can use my office above the garage again! No more trying to sit and do things in the living room where everyone is running around, watching tv, talking, and the dog has the desire to play...ALL THE TIME! HA! Boy, I love that dog but he's sure full of energy. Spring has arrived and with it has come the annual renewal of energy that anyone who lives in a cold weather climate understands well...including dogs apparently.
I had all intentions on going into more detail during this post but I'm afraid if I do it'll get confusing so I'll shut it down here with the intention of creating another in the next day or two (however, we all know about intentions right?). Take today to remind the important women in your life that you love and are thankful for them. If you're a mom, take a moment to sit with your feet up and enjoy the wonderfulness you've brought into the world. Remember, while it may be the big things that get all the recognition, it's the simple things that make the most difference.
Regardless, I'm back now and ready to put out some work. First and foremost, I want to wish a very Happy Mothers Day to all the mom's out there! I'm currently sitting in my office trying to hammer out a little work but later today will be time for a nice cooked meal and some quality time together with my wife. I'll be making some phone calls to the women in my life who insured that I made it this far, and I'm hoping to get the wife and boy in the car and go visit a friend of ours who's two children are away; on as a member of the USAF and the other a sophomore in college. The woman I've had in my life up to this point have been nothing short of phenomenal and this is one of the few holidays I'm grateful exists. While I try to thank them as often as possible throughout the year, it's nice that there is a day set aside to recognize their efforts and the love and compassion they've shown us.
So what have I been up to the past few weeks? It feels like we've literally been on the run. The misses has had appointment after appointment (with another one this week). The boy is now doing outdoor track and has had practice and meets. He went down with his dad for April vacation and Marilyn and I spent the week looking at homes. We've been trying to get out financial house in order to qualify for a mortgage when we do find the right one. And to top it off I've been under the weather on and off for the past week. Oh yeah, and the weather has finally turned and all the damn white stuff left by mother nature during the winter is finally gone! All this has obviously been mixed in with the day to day happenings of life (of which you can read about here). However, one great thing that has happened, is now that the winter has finally passed I can use my office above the garage again! No more trying to sit and do things in the living room where everyone is running around, watching tv, talking, and the dog has the desire to play...ALL THE TIME! HA! Boy, I love that dog but he's sure full of energy. Spring has arrived and with it has come the annual renewal of energy that anyone who lives in a cold weather climate understands well...including dogs apparently.
I had all intentions on going into more detail during this post but I'm afraid if I do it'll get confusing so I'll shut it down here with the intention of creating another in the next day or two (however, we all know about intentions right?). Take today to remind the important women in your life that you love and are thankful for them. If you're a mom, take a moment to sit with your feet up and enjoy the wonderfulness you've brought into the world. Remember, while it may be the big things that get all the recognition, it's the simple things that make the most difference.
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