I Keep Meaning Too...

How many times do you say that to yourself in one form or another?  "I keep meaning to.."  or "I mean to do...".  Sometimes it's because life gets in the way.  Sometimes it's because you keep making excuses or finding ways to avoid that which you know you should do.  I know it happens to me often.  I have a list of shit I want to explore and complete, which I often don't.  Generally for the reasons listed above. 

There are times when life circumstances will come into play.  Like issues with my TBI.  One of the side effects is that I have an EXTREMELY difficult time with disorganization and uncleanliness in my environment.  It's not quite obsessive compulsive level, but it can be so distracting at times that I put off other tasks because until something is done about said situation, my brain won't allow me to focus.  

This is not our actual fridge.  Though it looked close that day

It happened yesterday in fact.  What started with planning to do dishes turned into cleaning and organizing the cabinets, deep cleaning the fridge, and then yes, also washing the dishes.  A 30 minute chore (I'm extremely slow at doing dishes obviously) turned into four hours.  It was certainly satisfying when completed but I also ended up putting off planned tasks because I'd gotten distracted.  

And while TBI could be partially to blame for yesterday, it's not for today, when I'm again putting off  chores in order to sit and write this.  

However, today comes with a caveat; this post is a step toward fixing a "I keep meaning too" situation I've found myself in.  

Together with other projects, I've been meaning to write more.  To explore and discuss TBI and fitness, and training, and all the things in between that make up large parts of my life.  To work on editing the novel I wrote a few years ago and to begin the new one that's been on my mind.  To set to work on researching, creating, and implementing business plans for future endeavors.  To sit down and focus on my studies as I strive to learn and pass along the latest techniques in training and nutrition.  To grow myself, my business, and my family into what my brain envisions.

It has to begin somewhere and today it begins by simply making a choice that writing this a priority.  And what's truly ironic is that thus far, I'm only 10 minutes in.  All the excuses I come up with NOT to pursue passions and yet, often when I sit down and just do it, I realize I'm potentially passing on years of living that envisioned life because I can't be bothered to sit down for 30 minutes and do what I tell others I enjoy.  

How fucking crazy is that?

There will always be reasons to keep a full, "I keep meaning too" box.  Tasks that will keep you busy enough to justify not pursuing your goals will always present themselves when we want them too.  But there are better reasons to work on keeping that box minimal.  Your dreams and aspirations.  The dreams and aspirations of your friends and family.  The desire to find out who and what you really are.  The ending of wondering "what if".  

Tasks will always be apart but what's in your "I keep meaning too" box often has an expiration date.

Don't let your own reluctance, excuses, and fears keep you from completing them.